Until My Heart Explodes
by You May Call Me Red
Summary: Jo Wilson wants to be the best. She's used to getting what she wants, and her medical career will be no different. Alex Karev wants to be left alone to brood in peace. Theoretically, they're different in every possible way. Practically, they can't seem to leave each other alone. Title credit to My Chemical Romance, Summertime.
1. Chapter 1

**I'm back! So, this is sort of like a Jolex rewrite of season 9, I guess. The plane crash never happened, but Mark and Lexie are just... gone. Jo was never in the foster system, and instead lived the privileged lifestyle Alex initially thought she did. I will be incorporating parts from the show e.g. Jason will be making his appearance later on.**

**It's bad. I apologise.**

**(Emily Mathis is my real life friend and I love her)**

**Dedicated to tumblr use freakinkarev because, well, just because.**

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**Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy or Panic! At the Disco**

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**Chapter 1: I Write Sins Not Tragedies**

_I'd chime in with a _

'_Haven't you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door?'_

_No_

_It's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality._

Panic! At the Disco, I Write Sins Not Tragedies

* * *

Jo Wilson wasn't like her fellow interns. Heather Brooks was a bit too ditzy and Leah Murphy was a bit too trashy and Shane Ross was, well, he was a bit too Shane Ross. She supposed she probably had a fair bit in common with Stephanie Edwards but she was a whole lot classier than Stephanie so she didn't even bother to find out.

The fact that she wasn't like any of them meant she wasn't really friends with any of them. This was both a good thing and a bad thing. It was a good thing because it was acceptable if she didn't associate with them more than she had to. It was a bad thing because it was _not _acceptable for her to tell them to _shut the hell up_.

Another annoying, pathetically disguised as a cough, giggle escaped Leah's mouth. "And he's just so _smart_," she muttered in Heather's ear, except it wasn't really in Heather's ear because Jo could hear it from across the room. Leah bit her lip and glanced at the man in question: Alex Karev.

Personally, Jo didn't see the appeal. Yes, he was undeniably attractive and Leah was probably right about his level of intelligence- he'd have to be fairly clever, if he'd snagged a paediatrics fellowship- but apart from that? There was nothing particularly special about him. He seemed rather angry and, quite frankly, incredibly rude- in Jo's opinion, at least, because clearly not everyone else felt the same.

When Heather gave a dreamy sigh, Jo couldn't help but roll her eyes. "This is ridiculous," Shane murmured from beside her, but he probably only thought that because he'd taken a keen liking to Heather.

"Murphy, what's it say in Miss Mathis' chart?" Alex barked and Jo felt a grim satisfaction when Leah froze, clearly not knowing the answer.

"She's 15, been on dialysis for three months, and is fairly high on the transplant list for a new kidney," Jo said robotically. "She's had problems with her kidneys for the majority of her life."

Alex turned slightly, a frown on his face that only further proved Jo's character analysis of him. "Are you Murphy?" he snapped, and Jo had to bite her cheek to stop herself from saying that no, she was obviously not Leah because she actually checked on their patients.

Defiantly crossing her arms, she replied, "No, sir."

The patient, Emily Mathis, looked like she could care less about all the medical mumbo-jumbo she'd surely been put through. She was a tall girl, her feet almost dangling off the end of the bed, and her hair was purple. Jo was quite sure she'd never seen the girl without headphones over her ears and a scowl on her face.

Perhaps she and Alex were related.

"Okay, Emily, we're going to get you a new pair of kidneys," Alex said, only now he was smiling. "You've been high up on the list for a while, and I have a feeling this'll be the week, if not today. And then you'll never have to be hooked up to any of these machines again, and hopefully you won't have to see any of our face's for a good, long while."

Emily wasn't impressed by him treating her like a child- probably because she _wasn't_ a child. She most likely had the mental capability to understand everything he was saying to her. Talking that way might work with kids under the age of 9, but not with a moody teenager.

That was all Alex had to say to the girl, so he exited the room soon after and the intern followed like a group of lost puppies. Particularly Heather and Leah.

"Where's Edwards?" he demanded. As soon as they'd left Emily's room, the frown had plastered itself back across his otherwise handsome features. "It's literally your second week on the job; it's a bit early for her to be skipping rounds."

Heather smirked. "She's stalking Dr Yang," she explained. "Apparently, she doesn't find saving children's lives as important as fetching coffee for a doctor who'll never let her scrub in."

The supposed to be subtle jab at Cristina Yang was evident in Heather's tone and Jo thought she was a bit daft to say that because while Alex may not be a particularly friendly person, he and the cardiothoracic fellow appeared to be quite close. Jo had overheard a conversation between a few attendings that mentioned Alex and Cristina lived together.

"Actually, she was stalking Dr Avery, last I saw," Shane corrected, sounding a bit better because he didn't like Jackson Avery. Something about plastics being a 'stupid specialty'. "I think she mentioned something about his sparkling green eyes."

Alex sighed, clearly not impressed. "Avery can keep her," he said darkly. "I don't need all of you idiots on my service at once anyway."

Shane raised his hand. "I'll leave," he offered eagerly. "I'd rather be with Dr Shepherd anyway. At least he actually _teaches _us."

Well, that was a stupid thing to say.

"You want to learn?" Alex asked, and the annoyed look in his eyes made sure the interns knew not to reply. "Fine. I'll make you a deal: when we get Emily her kidney, the lot of you can observe from _inside _the OR. Whoever I think is the least stupid at that point can scrub in." He gave them one last glare before turning around and walking into another patient's room.

Over his shoulder, he called, 'Don't bother with the rest of rounds. Go torture some other poor soul or, I don't know, read up on kidney transplants. I really don't care."

* * *

Alex was leaning against the wall in the hospital's day care. He was watching Meredith Grey as she had a pretend tea party with her daughter, and complaining. "This year's interns are horrible," he claimed. "Complete idiots. We weren't that crap, were we?"

Meredith rolled her eyes at him. "They're not that bad," she said. "And no, we were great. Well, _I _was great. You were kind of an arsehole. And there was that one time you choked up and almost let a guy die in an elevator."

"You are not a nice person," he said. When Zola came waddling towards him, he smirked. "It's no wonder your kid likes me more than you."

Again, Meredith rolled her eyes. "I take it back," she replied. "You still _are _an arsehole." She was used to Alex's ways though, so she knew not to take offense to anything he said. He never really meant it, even if at the time he thought he did.

Picking Zola up, he grinned. "How you doing, Zo?" he asked but her only answer was a strange gurgling sound so he repeated the question, this time directed at Meredith.

"She's great," she answered. "Never stops- runs everywhere. I can hardly keep up with her. Derek doesn't even try."

That sounded like Zola.

Before Meredith had a chance to ask how Alex was- which he knew she was going to do because, really, making sure Alex was okay was really all Meredith ever did- one of the interns appeared in the doorway. It was the tan brunette. The stuck-up one. Wilson? Yeah, Jo Wilson.

"What do you want?" he asked, annoyed, as she approached him. At least she wasn't absolutely terrified of the attendings, like that seemingly stupid blonde he may or may not be planning on sleeping with, and when she walked she walked with a purpose.

A slight smile curved up the corners of Jo's lips. "UNOS just called," she announced happily. "You were right; they have a kidney for Emily."

Oh, right. "Why couldn't you have just paged me? I'm kind of busy here."

Jo's cheeks flushed as she pursed her lips. "I _did _page you," she said, managing to keep most of the bitterness out of her tone. "Twice, actually. _You _didn't answer, and I figured you'd rather me come find you instead doing the surgery myself."

After checking his pager and discovering he'd turned it off by accident, Alex felt like a right fool. Not that he'd tell the intern that. "Good call," he told her sarcastically. "I'm so glad you have an ounce of common sense." Sighing, he set Zola down. "See you later, Zo. We'll catch up later, yeah, Mer?"

When Meredith nodded, he gave Zola's hair a final pat before letting the intern lead the way out of the day care. "Was that your wife?" she inquired as they were walking down the adjacent corridor. "And your kid?"

"Dr Grey and I are friends," he told her, almost laughing at the ridiculous implication. "Have been for years. She's married to the head of neurosurgery."

Of course, Jo thought. She'd seen Meredith Grey and Derek Shepherd together before. "So, can I come and get the kidney with you?" she asked, trying not to sound too eager. "You know, since I came all this way to find you…"

Alex sighed. "Where is it?" he asked, feeling he'd regret it if he did take her.

"Seattle Presbyterian."

"Fine, you can come," he allowed. "But no talking."

* * *

A couple of hours later and Alex was done with the surgery. True to his word, he'd let the interns watch from inside the OR but Jo was a little upset he hadn't let her scrub in with him. He'd chosen Leah.

At first this had annoyed Jo because Leah was one of the most simple-minded people she'd ever met and it was a wonder she'd even made it to medical school, let alone this program, but then she decided if she had a fairly attractive and majorly chesty girl throwing herself at her, she'd probably go with them too. Or, a fairly attractive male with nice biceps, more likely.

Because of Alex's decision, Heather was no longer talking to Leah. What Jo got from this was that the two were very petty and immature for 25 year old surgeons-in-training.

Shane was also being fairly immature, stating that by not picking him Alex was being racist, but the claim was unfounded because Jo was at least 75% certain both Heather and Leah had some sort of American Indian heritage.

Especially Heather- she had the high cheekbones and everything.

"That was _amazing_," Leah gushed when all of the interns- Stephanie Edwards now present- were gathered outside, behind the kitchen and among the garbage.

Jo didn't really have a reason to be there, but she also didn't feel like aimlessly wondering the hospital until someone paged her. She would look terrified and alone and out of place and that is not how she wanted to look.

"Yes, I'm sure it was, but did you _learn _anything?" Stephanie asked, vaguely patronising. That was something Jo liked about Stephanie; she had a good head on her shoulders. Well, unless you counted her crush on Jackson Avery but really, Jo couldn't blame her.

Most females had a crush on Jackson Avery. Probably a few males as well.

Leah frowned, but only for a moment. "Yes!" she cried excitedly. "I learned that he's even smarter than I thought, and that he smells really, really good up close." That could probably be brought back to medicine somehow, but Jo doubted that occurred to Leah.

"That's great," Shane grumbled. "Exactly what you're here to learn."

Jo wasn't going to lie; the urge to snap at Shane was definitely there. She was beginning to think he was just grumpy all the time, and that didn't sit well with her. If he had any obvious reason to be so cranky she wouldn't mind because she herself was a somewhat angry person, but from what she could he had it pretty well off. She knew he lived in the richer part of town, not that far from her, actually, and Derek Shepherd thought he was God's gift to neurosurgery.

But perhaps she was a bad judge of character, because she managed to find something wrong with every single one of them that others didn't seem to see. That could just be her competitiveness, though.

Despite not having been at the hospital for very long, she had learned things about strangers she never wanted to know about anyone. Stephanie Edwards had an awkwardly shaped mole on her back that she was afraid to get checked out. April Kepner and Jackson Avery for some reason couldn't stop hooking up, though neither of them really seemed to want to be hooking up. Richard Webber was hooking up too, with Jackson's mother, and any conversation between the two men was awkward and forced. Richard also didn't like the fact that he wasn't in charge anymore.

It seemed not one person in this hospital was dignified or refined. They all had secrets they clearly didn't want other people to know about but didn't know how to hide. Subtlety and locked doors were foreign concepts to the majority of the staff.

But she figured she could use this to her advantage. She did know how to hide things she needed to, and in her opinion that automatically put her above them. She knew all about them, yet they knew nothing about her.

Ever since she was younger, Jo had wanted to be the best. At everything, really. That's just how she was raised and it was how she planned to be for the rest of her life. She didn't have time for dumb or angry or slutty interns, nor did she have time for an irritable Alex Karev.

All she had time for was to be the best.

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**Reviews, my lovelies? I promise this will get better!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry this took so long, and sorry it's also so obviously a filler. If it's not clear in the crappiness, I had major writer's block. Still do, unfortunately. But anyway, sorry it's even worse than the first chapter. This story actually _is _going somewhere, I promise!**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter :) As always, I appreciate it. **

**P.S. If the lyrics I put at the start of any chapters-this one or future- make absolutely no sense, it's not you, it's me. My mind finds weird ways to connect things and to me the lyrics somehow seem fitting to me when, usually, they aren't.**

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**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or Bring Me The Horizon (though the list of things I'd do Oli if I did is endless). **

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**Chapter 2: Empire (Let Them Sing)**

_Are we truly alone?_  
_The scars on your heart are yours to atone_  
_We've been surrounded_  
_Let 'em sing, let 'em sing._

Bring Me The Horizon, Empire (Let Them Sing)

* * *

"No, Mum, I am not staying with Aunt Hannah," Jo sighed into the phone. She was sitting on the edge of the bathtub in a cluttered and stuffy bathroom, but at least it was clean. "I doubt she'd have me anyway."

"_Oh, don't say that honey. Of course she'd love to have you. I could call her and ask on your behalf…"_

It took every ounce of self-control Jo possessed to not say that she didn't want to stay with Aunt Hannah because Aunt Hannah's a cold-hearted bitch. Somehow, she doubted her mother would appreciate that. "I know, Mum, and I appreciate it. But really, the renovators should be done in about a month and one of my co-workers who lives _right across the road _from the hospital said it's fine if I stay with her until then. It's convenient."

"_Who is this co-worker? Is she from around Seattle? If she is I might know her family." _

"Heather Brooks. Yes, she's from Seattle and no, you don't know her family." Jo would call her and Heather friends before thinking that their families ran in the same circles. And she'd never say they were friends.

Five minutes later Jo had finally convinced her mother that Heather's apartment was fit to live in- when, really, it wasn't. Not even close- and was back in the cramped living room. "Thanks again," she said to Heather, who shrugged.

"No problem. Don't make a mess of anything and we're good to go."

Jo dragged her gaze to the barely visible floor and had to hold back a snort. Yeah, _sh_e was the one going to mess the place up.

This was going to be a long month.

* * *

Alex's mouth moved furiously against the intern's. His hands were grabbing at the edge of her scrub top, trying to pull it off, but she was giggling at him. "I have to _go_," Leah insisted, fixing her hair as she pulled away. "I'm going to be late for rounds and you _know _how pissed Grey gets when we're late."

Alex grunted in response, unwilling to speak badly of Meredith. It had been over a week since he'd gotten laid- Leah had caught the flu and had been calling him every waking moment asking for chicken soup or blankets or _something_. Of course he hadn't complied with any of her wishes- they weren't a _couple_- but her constant phone calls had made it pretty hard to chat up the hot girls at the bar.

To say he wasn't faring well would be an understatement.

"Come over tonight," he called to her as she slipped out of the on-call room and all he got in response was a thumbs up before her blonde hair swished out of view and he was left alone again. _Still horny. _"I hate my life," he muttered to himself before pulling his shirt down properly and following suit by exiting the room.

Already, his day was promising to be terrible.

* * *

They were following him again. The interns were following him again. Well, he only had two on his service this week so they were the only ones following him, but it was bad enough. Worse, maybe, because the two were Wilson and Ross.

Or, as he liked to call them, Princess and Broody, respectively.

"Why are you even here?" Alex asked rudely. "Rounds finished like, an hour ago. Shouldn't you be saving lives or something?"

Jo rolled her eyes. "You told us to not even breathe the same air as your patients not thirty minutes ago," she accused. "So how exactly do you propose we save their lives?" She put a hand on her hips as if she had a point.

She did, but he wouldn't admit that. It would only make her ego even bigger than it already was and from what he'd seen she had an even bigger ego than him and Cristina Yang combined. So, pretty darn big.

"You're right," he said. "Don't save lives. Go sit in the corner and pretend you don't exist."

It's not like he expected either of them to _do _it, so when Jo glared and dragged a chair over to the corner and quietly plopped herself down in it, he wasn't exactly sure what do. "I didn't _mean_ it," he said, exasperated, and was tempted to tip the chair and watch her fall flat on her face. It wouldn't really accomplish anything, but he was annoyed and it would entertain him for a good few minutes at least.

"Dr Karev!" yelled one of the ER nurses. "There's a nine year old on the way in. Paramedics think it's appendicitis."

Great. Now he had to take one of the idiots into surgery with him because Seattle Grace Mercy West was a teaching hospital and he was a teacher.

Great.

"That'll require surgery, won't it?" asked Shane eagerly. Those were the first words Alex had heard him speak in a while, and he decided it wasn't much better than silence. Truth be told, the intern's voice annoyed him somewhat.

Alex looked at him like he was an idiot which, in Alex's eyes, he kind of was. "No, Ross," he said, "_Appendicitis _doesn't require surgery. We're planning on letting the kid die." Jo- who was now leaning against the wall opposite them- gave a light snort.

"Can I scrub in?" she asked. "You know, if it is appendicitis. I mean, an appendectomy is a pretty standard procedure, right? A simple procedure."

"As simple as surgery comes," Alex answered truthfully. He could do an appendectomy in his sleep. He decided he liked the brunette a lot more when she wasn't being sarcastic and going out of her way to annoy him. "And yeah, sure. Just don't get in my way."

The smile that found its way across her face unnerved him a little. He was fairly sure he'd never seen her actually smile before, if he didn't count the self-assured smirks. Which he doesn't. The self-assured smirks weren't _happy_- they were, well, self-assured.

"Thank you," she said happily and then she was gone. He didn't know where she went, and he didn't really care. If he didn't change his mind before he went into surgery he'd have a nurse page her.

Shane Ross didn't look impressed. He was standing with his arms crossed and a grimace on his face- _that _was nothing new. "Can _I _scrub in?" he asked reproachfully and almost rhetorically, as though he knew the answer was going to be 'no'.

So just for that, Alex didn't decline. "Fine," he said, shrugging like being _nice _to the interns was something he was totally comfortable with. It wasn't, but Shane Ross didn't really need to know that.

* * *

There was something different about watching from the OR than from the gallery. Just the fact that she could reach out and _feel _the patient if she wanted to was enough to give Jo a rush. Not that she was going to do that, of course, because Alex would probably _literally _tear her head off. With his teeth. He'd already yelled at Shane for being in his way, and at her for not paying attention to where she was going and almost walking into a nurse- she'd been distracted by the fact that she was going to _scrub in_.

Glancing up at the gallery, Jo gave a small smirk that no one could see. Stephanie Edwards was glaring at her; the two had a $20 on who'd be able to hold a scalpel first and while Jo hadn't technically done anything, this was the surgery. She could feel it.

"Wilson," came Alex's voice. "_Wilson_."

"Huh?" she said, quickly looking back at the patient. The patient was out cold, obviously, and her appendix was sitting on a tray and- wait, what? He'd already taken out? _When the hell did that happen?" _ Her heart sunk as she realised she must've been staring up at the gallery for longer than the minute she thought she had been. She could practically feel Stephanie Edwards shadowing the smirk she'd worn just moments ago.

Alex looked at her like she was insane, which she probably was. "I said, do you want to close her up?" He looked annoyed and judging by the way he was shifting his weight from one foot to the other he was either heavily dosed with caffeine or had somewhere to be.

Given that he was a paediatric surgeon, both were probably true.

"Yes," Jo replied automatically. "Yes, I do. Of course." She quickly stopped herself because she tended to ramble and didn't want to look like more of an imbecile than she already did. Morons who look like imbeciles generally are imbeciles, and Jo Wilson was no imbecile.

"Why can't I do it?" Shane demanded angrily. "I'm just as capable as Wilson."

Alex rolled his eyes. "Yeah, Ross, I'm sure you are," he said. "But _Wilson _didn't ask if appendicitis would need surgery."

"In my defence, it doesn't _always _need surgery."

"Nine out of ten," Alex said, though he was in no way sure of that statistic. But he doubted Shane was either, so it didn't really matter. Jo probably knew- she seemed to know most things, despite how annoying she could be- but there was no way she was going to say anything. "Maybe next time, Ross."

It wasn't long before Jo was smirking again. Sure, she hadn't really _done _anything, but at least she'd been able to touch the patient outside of the occasional post-op. Far more than Shane was able to say.

If possible, she grew even more smug than she already was.

By the time she was done, her shift had been over for a grand total of four minutes and she was planning on heading to the bar. Most likely, Shane and Stephanie would both be there, and if there was ever a time that particularly felt like gloating, that was it.

And to think, she didn't even have to be slutty like Leah Murphy.

* * *

Oh, God. Downing yet another mug of beer, Jo tried to make herself invisible as she pressed back against the leather seat of the booth. She'd planned on gloating to Shane and Stephanie, but instead she was hiding behind Heather Brooks. Not an easy feat, considering Heather was about five foot flat.

"What the hell are you doing?" Heather asked incredulously, looking between Jo and the group of people at the bar that Jo hadn't taken her eyes off for the past half hour. "And who the hell are they?"

"I'm hiding," Jo said, and realised sadly that this night was probably taking another few bites out of her already fragile dignity. She was supposed to be composed, dammit! "And it's not _them_, it's _him_." She pointed at one of the taller members of the party at the bar.

Heather followed the line of her finger and grinned slightly. "He's _cute_," she stage whispered, but when she saw Jo's response she quickly shook her head, frowning. "Not cute. Not cute at all. Butt-ugly. Looks like my great grandma on a bad hair day."

"You're an idiot," Jo muttered, straightening up now that she was finally satisfied he wouldn't be turning around anytime soon. "He's my ex," she explained. "Not exactly the best guy. Bit of a major arsehole, actually."

Sympathy shone in Heather's eyes, and Jo had the feeling Heather was the kind of the girl who stumbled across more unfortunate relationships then healthy ones. "Want me to rough 'im up?" Heather asked, making fists and sending him the evil eye.

"What- no." The idea of Heather 'roughing 'im up' was almost comical and she probably would've let her, simply for the entertainment factor, but it sounded suspiciously like a gesture a friend would make, and they weren't friends- were they?

No, Jo reassured herself. She was _not _friends with dorky, giggly and messy Heather Brooks. She had simply opted to stay with her rather than Aunt Hannah purely for the convenience and she was only hanging out with her because she provided a great distraction.

Jo didn't have friends.

"I think I might just go home," Jo said, sending another fleeting glance at the bar. "Stay. I'll see you tomorrow morning at work."

Without waiting to hear Heather's protests, she stood up and quickly made her way across the quickly filling room. It wasn't until she passed the group at the bar that she realised she was shaking, and she had to force herself to not look at him, or she might just stop and say something completely stupid.

Willing her body to hold still, she shoved her hands in the pocket of her jumper and walked even faster towards the exit.

She ignored the questioning noise Alex Karev made when she was moving so quickly and blindly that she walked straight into him, and made her way down the street without so much as an apology while the light rain sprinkled over her immaculate hair.

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**Okay, so I realise that last scene seems pretty random, but it will be of importance in later chapters. Probably. I tend to go off track from how I plan things. **

**Don't ask me why I insist on making Shane so annoying in this. I actually adore Shane.**

**Review, please.**

**As always, I love you all.**


	3. Chapter 3

**I cannot believe this took me so long. I am so sorry. Whilst apologising for that, I should also say 'sorry' for the shortness. I edited and re-edited and re-re-edited this chapter, and cut out A LOT. There was also more supposed to go after the ending, but this ending fit better, so I cut it out as well. Again, sorry it took so long. I think this might actually be a good chapter though, so that's good? **

**Like the first chapter, this is dedicated to tumblr user freakinkarev, because she pestered me until I got off my arse and wrote this, and I really appreciate it.**

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**Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy or All Time Low. However, if any of you wish to buy me All Time Low, I will be forever grateful because a) their music is amazing (seriously, go listen to it. They're the best) and b) Alex Gaskarth is fine as hell and the love of my life. He's the only Alex I like more than the Alex in this story. **

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**Chapter 3: Six Feet Under The Stars**

_I should've known better than to call you out_

_(on a night like this, a night like this)_

_If not for you I know I'd tear this place to the ground_

_(but I'm alright like this, alright like this)_

All Time Low, Six Feet Under The Stars

* * *

"This is ridiculous," Jo muttered, and both Leah and Stephanie nodded in agreement. They were waiting in line at the cafeteria, but it really didn't seem to be moving. "All I want is some goddamn soup!" She placed a hand on her hip, tutting in an unimpressed manner.

An amused snort came from behind them, and Jo turned to see Alex Karev raising an eyebrow at her. "Because waiting in line is so horrible, isn't it, Princess?" Jo didn't dignify that with an answer, instead walking ahead as the line finally started moving.

It was almost five minutes before the interns had grabbed their food and were sitting at a table as far from anyone else as possible. "How's life living with Heather?" Leah asked, stuffing a few fries into her mouth.

Jo made a face. "She's a slob," she admitted. "And she's always eating strange food. The other day she was dipping cheese in melted chocolate." Checking her watch, she frowned. She'd wasted so much time in line that in a few minutes she'd be on-call. She sighed, and pushed away the much craved soup. "I should go find Kepner."

XX

Standing in the OR, it occurred to Alex that he knew next to nothing about the year's crop of interns. It's not that he wanted to know- God, he didn't want to know- but he thought it odd, considering that when he was an intern, they'd all made it their personal missions to make sure the attendings knew everything about their messed up lives.

Wow, Alex thought. They must have been really annoying. Probably still were.

"Thanks for letting me scrub in," Shane said reluctantly as he watched Alex close up the patient- a nine year old with tonsillitis.

Alex shrugged. "It's fine." Honestly, Shane was a last resort. He really hadn't wanted to be stuck in the OR with Brooks, and the rest of the interns were all taken. "You weren't completely horrible." That, at least, was true. Shane wasn't as stupid as Alex liked to say he was.

The ER was busier than usual as they made their way over there, and one of the nurses informed them there had been a bus crash. "All hands on deck," she said. "Seems like it was pretty bad." Across the room, Kepner was barking instructions at a flustered Jo. That was no indication of the severity, though, because April was always losing her cool.

"Need a hand?" Alex called, and April nodded furiously.

"Get your arse over here, Karev!" she yelled. "And would someone get Callie Torres down here? We've got about four broken bones that need fixing!"

A kid with grazes and gashes all over him was laying on a bed. "Can you take him?" April pleaded quickly, already heading to the bed next them. "Patient name?" she asked the nurse holding the chart, but Jo answered before the nurse even had a chance to look.

"Jason Meyers," Jo said thickly. She hadn't moved from by the side of the kid, and was looking at April's new patient like she'd seen a ghost. "Age 31. No allergies. He has health insurance. No immediate family to contact in the area."

Alex looked between Jo and the patient, mildly curious.

"Thanks, Wilson," April stated quickly. "Now come on, I need some help."

Jo's expression darkened, and the hesitation before she started walking over as slowly as humanly possible was apparent. "Take Ross," Alex argued. "Wilson's tired- she's been up for hours. Look at her, she's about to fall asleep standing up." April didn't argue, just nodded and beckoned for Shane to follow her instead.

"Thanks," Jo muttered. She straightened up, relaxing visibly when the curtain between the two beds was yanked shut. "So is this kid gonna need surgery?" Said child was currently unconscious, but his breathing was even and he didn't seem to have lost too much blood. He would most likely be fine.

Alex shrugged. "Probably not. Depends if his arm's broken or not. I don't think it is, though. We'll have to wait for Torres to check, just in case." Jo nodded. "You do look like crap, you know," Alex said in a tone that implied he was entirely uninterested.

"Gee, thanks," she replied sarcastically. "That's exactly what I wanted to hear, Dr Karev. Great ego-boost."

Throwing his hands up defensively, he said, "Just saying. So who was that guy?"

Jo's face was guarded again. "My ex," she answered stonily, and for a moment Alex thought that might be all he'd get out of her. "We dated for most of last year. He, uh, he wasn't exactly the best, um, boyfriend, and it didn't really end on the best of terms." She didn't elaborate on how it had ended.

Before he could do something uncharacteristically kind, like ask if she was okay or offer her a shoulder to cry on- not that Jo Wilson seemed like the type of girl who'd accept such an offer- Callie pulled the curtain open. "You paged, Karev?"

Alex looked away from Jo, who almost seemed to shrink in on herself after the admission, and nodded. "Yeah, you think this kid's arm is broken?"

XX

The wind was warm as it blew against Jo's tanned skin. She was sitting outside the hospital- around the cafeteria, judging by the faint smell of crab cakes- and her breathing had only just begun to even out. Jason was in the hospital. Jason had been in a bus crash. Jason was here.

_Crap._

"Hey, Princess, have you seriously been hiding out here?"

Jo looked up and saw Alex standing a few feet away. The nickname was just as annoying as it was a few weeks ago when he'd started using it, but she couldn't be bothered telling him to stop. It probably wouldn't work, anyway. "I'm not hiding," she said, like the very idea disgusted her. It did, but that didn't mean she wasn't doing it. Alex didn't need to know that, though.

"You kind of are," he said, and it was one of those rare times he was smiling, and Jo wanted to hit him because he had no right to smile at her or because of her.

"Maybe I just like the smell of trash," she countered, gesturing at the bins, and even she grinned slightly, because it was a fairly disgusting thought. The grin fell away after a moment, though. "I just didn't want to be in there. I'm fine, really."

"I wasn't asking if you were okay," Alex claimed automatically. "I really don't care; I just don't want you slacking. Can't have the other interns thinking they can just take off and forget about their work."

Narrowing her eyes, Jo scoffed. "I am _so _not slacking," she informed him. "I am not a slacker. It's not in my DNA, or whatever. You're the slacker, if you're out here looking for me when you should be saving lives."

"Not true," he said. "It's my job to make sure you're doing _your _job. And besides, dragging you in from the stench out here would probably save your life." He hesitated a moment, before sitting down next to her. "So… Are you, you know, okay?"

"Yeah," she replied. "I'm fine." As she said these words, she wondered whether or not they were truthful, and prayed to God they were. She didn't want to be a liar.

Alex didn't look like he believed her. "Well, in case you decide you're not, I've had loads of practice pretending to listen while people whine about their problems, so if you ever need to get anything off your chest…" he trailed off, the offer hanging in the air and twisting into a semi-uncomfortable silence.

Jo looked at him, surprised. "Thanks... I think." She didn't say anything else before her pager went off. It was Kepner. "I have to go," she said, standing up and brushing the light layer of dirt off of her scrubs. "Gotta get back to saving lives sometime."

Because she would have to face him eventually, and it might as well be sooner rather than later.

XX

"Jo Wilson," Jason croaked, his voice hoarse. "Didn't think I'd be seeing you anytime soon."

Jo smiled, but it wasn't happy- sardonic, if anything. "And I was really hoping I wouldn't have to see you again, like, ever." She passed him a glass of water from his bedside table. April had taken him in for surgery to try and stop his internal bleeding, and said he would be fine. Jo didn't know if she was meant to be happy or disappointed about his good health.

Gulping down the water gratefully, he reached for her hand. She pulled away instantly. He frowned, but didn't comment. "So, how have you been? Any men in your life?" The second question was asked with a slight edge, daring her to answer positively.

"No men," she said honestly. "And I've been great, since you left. Thanks for asking. If you don't mind, I think I'm just going to leave now- have a nice life, Jason."

"You're going to leave me alone on my sickbed?" he asked, and his tone was teasing but she could hear the slight edge behind it, the anger he'd always hid so well now so much more evident than when he hadn't cared if she'd caught it or not. "Not very humanitarian-like of you, is it?"

"Yeah, I am," she said harshly, and she meant it completely. She stood up and started making her towards the door, not looking at him.

"Jo, don't you dare leave me here like-" he broke off when Alex appeared in the doorway, arms crossed and glaring at him.

Alex held the door open for Jo, but she didn't move. "Let her go, man," he said to Jason, ignoring Jo's questioning and slightly annoyed gaze. "She's got places to be. Jo, Brooks was looking for you," he added to the brunette, stepping aside as she walked past him.

The door swung shut behind them. "Stalking me, are you?" she asked angrily. "Because I'm willing to bet money that Heather isn't looking for me."

"She's not. She went home about a half hour ago."

Jo groaned. "I don't need your help, Karev. I was clearly on my way out, so-"

"What was it?" he asked, cutting her off. She raised an eyebrow. "What was he? Did he cheat, was he abusive, was he just an arsehole in general?"

The way she bit her lip at the second guess gave him his answer. He looked back at the room before he gave her an awkward pat on the shoulder. It was supposed to be comforting, but not much was comforting in a situation like that. "He's an arsehole," he offered, and really, what else could he do? He couldn't beat the guy because a) he barely even _knew _Jo and b) those days were behind him.

Mostly. They were mostly behind him.

Jo laughed. "Yeah," she agreed. "He really is."

* * *

**Penny for your thoughts? Just joking. I can't spare any pennies. But I do love reviews almost as much as I love Alexander William Gaskarth (anyone who's seen my tumblr will know just how much that it is) and since I can't have him, you should give me reviews instead.**

**Unless, of course, you are getting me Alex, in which case you can feel free to not review because Alex will undoubtedly be a better present. **

**Actually, both would be good.**


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